I especially like hanging out with my friend Robert. I’ve come to this realization because I don’t mind slouching, being silent and not smiling in front of him. Which is pretty much how I am in my alone time. Stone-faced sloucher. If I’m hanging out with friends and not smiling because I’m in my own little world, my friends assume that I’m unhappy and they freak out for no reason which is incredibly annoying and counterproductive because it makes me, not only unhappy for worrying them but incredibly uncomfortable. I’ve spent 80% of my life in solitude. I once spent over two weeks without uttering a single word and didn’t realize it until a sales person called me. I value my alone time. While I love and appreciate my friends, socializing takes a lot of energy out of me and sometimes when I’m hanging out with a group I’d rather rest on the floor with my eyes closed, listening to their banter because it actually is comforting but a little too stressful at times when being a part of it. Unfortunately, social protocol strongly suggests that you don’t on a whim, curl up on the rug and in the eyes of your friends, play dead. It’s just that my friends are incredibly smart so I like to hear about their thoughts without my silly interjections. Robert suggested that I work on this. I said no. Anyways, he makes a mean greek salad which, unbeknownst to me, traditionally doesn’t contain lettuce. Who knew. I didn’t.